I'll Heal You
by Deceiving Joy
Summary: Remus desires Harry, Harry wants Remus. Remus is torn between doing what's right, and doing something for himself for once though not for long. SLASH. RLHP.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Characters and locations belong to J.K.Rowling.

Warning: This story contains male/male sexual relationships as well as an older/younger relationship. If you don't like it, don't read it.

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_**Chapter 1**_

Remus Lupin knew it was wrong to have thoughts about one who was far younger than him. He knew that he was old enough to be his father. He knew that it was wrong to lust after a boy--no, a young man--who had once been his student. He knew it was wrong to want his best friends' son, his deceased lover's godson. He knew that it was wrong to desire the Boy Who Lived when it was he, and only he, who would end Voldemort's dark reign once and for all. He knew that it was wrong, and he yet he craved for the young man regardless.

In his thoughts, Harry Potter was foremost. In his dreams, Harry was _his_. Yet he knew that all those thoughts, wishes, wants, cravings, and desires were wasted.

Remus knew that Harry would never see him as more than just a friend, or a former teacher.

He wondered how long these feelings had flowed deep within his locked mind. Just recently the thoughts and feelings had surfaced, making it very hard to come anywhere near the young man without his mind--and his cock--going somewhere very personal. He could never admit these feelings to Harry, or anyone else for that matter. For if he did, he would surely regret it.

_Why_, he wondered. Was he afraid of rejection? Surely he was past that stage of life, having just passed his thirty-seventh birthday a mere three months before.

That was another reason Harry wouldn't be interested in him. He was more than twice his age, and Remus knew that as worn and tattered as he had looked when he was Harry's age, he was ten times worse now. Even so, the fact remained that he was falling for his best friend's son and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

He had tried when Tonks had admitted her feelings. They tried dating but it hadn't lasted two weeks when he told her he couldn't do it anymore. He explained that he harboured feelings for another that wouldn't allow him to think of anyone else, at least in the manner she wanted him to. She said she understood, but he hated himself for so obviously hurting her. For weeks after that, he noticed her watching him whenever he was near Harry, especially at Bill and Fleur's wedding. He vaguely wondered if she knew, and had ignored it from that point on, while hoping that she didn't.

Now, two weeks after the wedding, he sat in the kitchen of the Burrow, drinking a cup of tea as he listened to Bill and Charlie discussing the tactics of a minor-league Quidditch team that he couldn't recall. He was really only half listening, half his mind drifting to Harry's nearing departure, and so he was surprised when Charlie turned to him and asked his opinion on the matter of the team's use of a modernized version of the Wronski Feint.

"Hmm," he said clearing his throat, allowing himself time to recall the subject to his mind. "Well, I believe that the original is far more convenient."

Bill gave Charlie a grin that clearly said "I told you so". Remus grinned and continued.

"However, one cannot argue that the modern version is undoubtedly risky, and thrilling."

Charlie nodded. "That's what I say."

The two continued arguing on the subject, moving to the lounge, as Remus fell silent. Molly Weasley entered soon after followed by Tonks, whose gaze passed over him as she followed Molly to the bookcase of cookbooks.

"I don't remember if Harry likes German Chocolate cake or not," she was saying, and Remus's ears pricked forward at the mention of the young man. He opened his mouth to speak but just as he was about to answer, a wonderfully familiar voice reached his ear.

"He likes German Chocolate cake very much, Mrs. Weasley," Harry said, smiling. Remus watched him, followed by Ron and Hermione, enter the kitchen and he cleared his throat lightly, fixing his robes and crossing his legs. He knew it was better to be safe, rather than sorry. He wouldn't want wandering eyes to fall upon _that_, and wonder why he had a hard-on in their company.

Molly jumped slightly, glaring at her son as he laughed, before smiling at Harry. "Of course, I thought you did, dear. How will that be for your birthday?"

Harry frowned, glancing from her to Hermione and Ron, and then to Remus for a mere second before turning his attention back to Molly.

"Mrs. Weasley," he said softly, clearing his throat. It was evident to Remus that Harry had not gotround to telling her that he would be leaving next week. Remus had urged him to let her know when Harry had told him his plans to go after Severus and the Horcruxes. "I'll be leaving next week."

Molly's eyebrows rose comically and Remus bit his lip, deciding it wouldn't be wise to laugh at her demeanour in the present situation.

"Where are you going? School doesn't start for two months and you already said you weren't going to return."

Harry sighed. "I'm going after _him_ and looking for the remaining Horcruxes," he said and raised a hand when she started to speak. "Don't try to stop me, Mrs. Weasley. I really like you a lot and I appreciate all you've done for me, but I want to do this and whether you want to or not, you can't stop me going."

Molly was red and her mouth opened and closed like a fish for a couple of moments before she finally turned to Remus, brows knitted together in anger.

"Remus! Don't tell me you agree with him! Tell him that he's making the wrong choice and needs to stay! He'll listen to you."

Remus blinked at her, surprised at her snapping at him. He sighed and shook his head.

"I'm sorry, Molly," he said. "I can't tell Harry what to do, and where to go or not go. He is of age and I am neither his father, nor his guardian. I _am_ his friend, and I have already voiced my wish that he should not go, but it is his choice in the end and I can't deny him that. Nor do I think that you should try."

Molly's face whitened as if she'd been slapped by his words. Finally she turned her anger onto her son.

"There's no way that I'm letting you go with him!"

Ron's face grew as red as hers and soon he was yelling right back.

"I'm of age, Mum! You can't keep trying to protect me forever. Harry's my friend. I'm going to help him!"

Remus sighed. These fights were getting more and more frequent, and though it was expected with so many people living in the house, it was getting rather annoying. He stood up and made his way to where Harry stood by his friend, cringing a little each time Ron yelled. Remus tapped his shoulder and nodded at the front door as Harry looked at him. Harry smiled thankfully and they left the house just as Molly shouted for her husband's aid.

Shutting the door, Harry shook his head.

"I hate causing trouble for Ron, but that's all I seem to do," he said as he came to Remus's side.

"It's not your fault, Harry," he said, placing his hands in the pockets of his robes. The look on Harry's face in reply was one of disbelief. "No, it's not. Molly is naturally controlling, though don't tell her I said that."

He grinned and Harry laughed. The two walked in silence, heading down the path that led to the Weasley's orchard. Remus constantly took quick glances at the younger man, watching his expression. Harry always seemed so sad, though Remus knew he tried to hide it.

As they came to the orchard, Remus leaned against a tree as Harry took a seat on one of the stone benches near it, looking up at him.

"Remus," he said slowly. "Can I ask you something? Something a little weird?"

Remus raised a brow, wondering if the question had something to do with Harry's wanting to go after Severus or something else entirely. He nodded, a sincere smile on his face.

"Of course, Harry. You can always ask me anything you want."

Harry nodded, but stayed silent with his eyes cast down to his shoes. Finally Remus came to sit beside him, ignoring his closeness to the younger male for the moment. Then an idea dawned on him. "Is it about Sirius?"

Harry nodded. Remus sighed. He'd always wondered if Harry guessed that his and Sirius's relationship hadn't always been entirely platonic. "Sirius and I were lovers for a while. But we hadn't been for quite a long time."

Harry looked up at him, emerald orbs searching his for something. "You weren't with him before he died?"

Remus didn't know where this was headed, but answered in the negative. "We were last together when he was taken into Azkaban. We'd been dating. When we were reunited in your third year, the feelings were gone. Both his and mine."

Harry continued to gaze into his eyes for a while longer before he looked down at his shoes once more. Remus was concerned at the younger man's behaviour.

"Why do you ask, Harry?"

Harry looked up once more, a slight pink tinge on his cheeks. Before Remus knew what was happening, Harry leaned in and pressed his lips gently against the older man's. As if on instinct, Remus's eyes closed, and he pressed into the kiss before registering what was happening and pushing Harry away gently.

"Harry, you can't," he said, though his heart and his cock wanted very much for Harry to do that. "I'm too old, and you… you're confused."

Harry frowned.

"Am I, Remus?" he asked, his voice low. "Don't lie to me. You want this. You want _me_. I can see it in your eyes. And I want you. And I don't fucking care about your age or if you think there is someone out there better for me. You're the best thing there is for me, and you're here. I _want_ you. I _love_ you."

By this time, the younger man was on his feet, pressing his finger to Remus's chest. Remus listened to every word he said and wanted to believe it, needed to. But his conscience wouldn't let him.

"But Harry, I-"

"Stop listening to your fucking head for once, Remus," Harry practically yelled. "Listen to your heart. Maybe you'll realize that you need me too. I want you to love me, Remus. You can heal my pain. We can heal each other."

Remus looked searchingly into those dark green eyes, and finally he raised a hand to the younger man's cheek. Harry took the hand in his own, pulling it from his cheek before bringing it to his mouth, pressing his lips to the back of it. This little gesture caused his cock to respond, swiftly becoming aroused. He wrapped his fingers around Harry's hand and pulled the younger man closer.

"Alright, Harry," he whispered. "I'll heal you."

Harry smiled. "And I'll heal you."

Remus's other hand rose to grip Harry's chin, pulling his face down close to his. With a grin, he pressed his lips to the younger man's, throwing his conscience to the winds.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Characters and locations belong to J.K.Rowling.

Warning: This story contains male/male sexual relationships as well as an older/younger relationship. If you don't like it, don't read it.  
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_**Chapter 2**_

By the time they returned to the Burrow, Molly had calmed down and was busily preparing dinner. Ron and Hermione were curled up together on the couch in the living room watching the Muggle television that Arthur had fixed. The twins were pouring over something that looked like tablets on the desk in the far corner, and Arthur sat smoking a pipe in the large recliner chair that the twins had got for him, watching his son and his girlfriend. Bill and Charlie were nowhere to be seen. Arthur looked up when they entered, and Remus had to advert his eyes from the man's gaze, feeling a little guilty. Arthur frowned and looked at Harry.

"Harry, Molly would like your help in the kitchen," he said, and watched as the young man left the room. The quick glance up at the man beside him before he left wasn't lost on Arthur, and caused his frown to deepen. Remus instantly realized Arthur knew exactly what was up.

"Remus, may I speak with you a moment?" he asked, rising. "Out on the porch."

Remus nodded. He had no other choice. If people were ever going to accept him and Harry, it might as well start now. Arthur made his way over to where he stood and they walked to the door together, Arthur calling out to the twins to watch Ron and Hermione as they left the house.

Remus leaned against the wall as Arthur shut the door.

"I'm not sure what this fancy of yours is, Remus," he said, his voice a bit more stern than he'd meant it to be. "But I'm letting you know now. If Harry is hurt in any way, I'm holding you personally responsible."

Remus sighed, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Look, Arthur. I love Harry. Very much do I love him. I always have, though more recently it's become much more than just in a friendly nature. I want to make him happy, Arthur. I want to help him heal. I know what he's going through more than anyone else. I'd never hurt him."

Arthur nodded, but still frowned.

"I know that, Remus," he said. "I really do, but you know what people are going to say. He's twenty years your junior. You're old enough be his father. You _were_ best friends with his father! And you were with Sirius! You need to be absolutely sure that this is what you want, and what Harry wants."

"It is Arthur," he said. "Believe me, Arthur. I've wanted this for quite some time, and I have a feeling that Harry has too."

Arthur nodded and finally gave a small smile. "Well, for now, let's keep it between us," he said, his eyes flickering to the house and back as Molly called out that it was dinnertime. "I think that Molly's had enough stress for one evening. But, Remus, you and Harry will have to tell everyone. And before Harry, Ron, and Hermione leave would be best."

Remus nodded, a frown falling onto his face. He'd completely forgotten that Harry was leaving the following week.

"We will, Arthur," he said, pushing the fact that Harry was leaving to the back of his mind. He would talk to Harry later to work out what they were going to do. "Though I wouldn't be surprised if some of them already know."

Arthur laughed lightly, patting Remus's shoulder. "Neither would I. Now, I'm famished. Let's get inside and eat."

Remus followed the man into the house and into the kitchen, silently taking the vacant seat between Harry and Charlie. Harry looked up, a silent question in his eyes. With a small grin and a single nod of his head, Remus began to serve food onto his plate.

Harry leaned over and whispered into his ear. "We need to tell them, Remus."

Remus looked at him and sighed. Was everyone going to keep telling him things he already knew? "I know, Harry. We'll tell them, in time."

Harry smiled. "Alright," he said, placing his hand on the older man's thigh. "Before I leave, though. They need to know before I leave."

Remus frowned. Why could he never avoid the subject of Harry leaving? He nodded, deciding that if he opened his mouth, he might say something he'd regret. He allowed Harry's hand to stay on his leg throughout dinner, but that might have been a mistake as Tonks spoke up just as Molly was serving the lemon meringue pie she'd baked earlier.

"Remus, is there something you wish to tell us? You and Harry?"

Remus looked up at her, feeling Harry remove his hand. Tonks's presently- black eyes reminded him of Severus which, along with her currently- black, shoulder- length hair, caused a slight shiver to run down his spine. All conversation stopped as everyone's eyes fell upon him and the younger male beside him.

"I'm afraid I don't…" he began, but Harry placed his hand on Remus's arm.

"No, Remus," he said, standing. "As my old neighbour once said, 'The cat's among the pixies now'. We might as well tell them and get it over with."

Remus sighed and stood up, and took the boy's hand in his. His eyes caught Arthur's, who merely shrugged and nodded. He opened his mouth to speak, but Harry beat him to it.

"Remus and I are dating."

Remus closed his mouth as dead silence rang around the kitchen. Molly was the first to speak, or raise her voice for that matter."

"What do you mean you and Remus are dating! Surely, you are joking?"

Remus shook his head. "No, Molly. We're not joking. I care about Harry, and I feel… we feel that this is what we need to do."

"Is this why you didn't want to be with me!"

That was Tonks, her voice rising as well. "All that 'too old' shite was just to cover up the fact that you like guys, and that you wanted him!"

Remus sighed. He'd known this was going to happen, and he wasn't sure he was ready for it. A quick squeeze on his hand gave him strength to continue. He turned to Tonks first.

"Look, Dora... Tonks. I'm sorry. I should have told you, but I didn't know how you would react. I'm just not the one for you. You'll find him someday, perhaps sooner than you think." He recalled how Charlie had confided in him that he liked Tonks.

Turning to Molly, he looked into her eyes. "Molly, I know you don't approve, but I love Harry, and I know him. I know him better than anyone else. I can heal him, and he can heal me."

Molly frowned, but fell silent. Harry cleared his throat.

"It wasn't Remus who started this. It was me," he said, and smiled up at the older man. "I admitted my feelings to him and asked him to do this for me. So if you want to be angry at someone, you should be angry at me, not him. But regardless of what you say, it's our choice, and we've already decided to be together."

Everyone was silent, nervous glances passing from Molly to Tonks, until finally Charlie spoke up.

"I'm happy for the two of you," he said. He shook Remus's hand and reached over to clasp Harry's shoulder for a moment. Bill nodded as Fleur smiled. Ron was avoiding both Harry and Remus, while Hermione beamed, rubbing Ron's back softly. Arthur cleared his throat.

"I believe that the two of you know what you're doing," he said. Fred and George laughed lightly before grinning.

"We guessed that it was something like that," Fred said.

"I always thought Harry fancied you, mate," George told Remus, who grinned.

Finally Tonks nodded, though she still looked a little hurt, and Molly merely shrugged.

"Fred, George, help with cleaning up," she said stiffly and rose from her chair.

Remus decided that it was time he and Harry made an exit. They all needed time to digest the news and it would give him time to talk with Harry about leaving.

"Come on," he whispered, nodding at the doorway. "Let's go for a walk."

With Harry's hand clasped securely in his own, Remus led the way out of the kitchen and out of the house once more.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Characters and locations belong to J.K.Rowling.

Warning: This story contains male/male sexual relationships as well as an older/younger relationship. If you don't like it, don't read it.

---

_**Chapter 3**_

Remus was silent as he and Harry walked side by side towards the little village near the Weasleys' home. He didn't know what to say to Harry. He hadn't wanted him to go off after Snape, the Horcruxes, Voldemort, and who- knew- what- else in the first place, but now that the two of them were together… he didn't want to think about what could happen.

Harry must have sensed he was uneasy, as soon he took Remus's hand into his and smiled reassuringly as the older man looked at him.

"It'll be fine, Remus," he said softly. "We'll be fine. I'll be fine."

Remus stopped and turned to the younger man, his frown deepening. "Harry, I love you and I don't want to lose you. It's dangerous out there."

"I love you too, and I'll be careful. You won't lose me."

"Harry, I'm sorry. I can't wait around here--safe--while you walk into danger."

Harry frowned, eyes narrowing. "So, what… you don't want to be with me?"

Remus blinked, and soon a smile grew on his face. "No. No, Harry, not at all. Yes, I want to be with you. What I meant was that I want to come with you."

Harry's eyes widened slightly before he shook his head. "No, Remus," he said, his voice suddenly very strained. "I can't let you. He'll use you to get to me."

Remus sighed. This wasn't going to be easy. "You know, that might have worked on Ginny, but you're not going to lose me that easily. Harry, I'm old enough to take care of myself, and I've been through a lot of danger in my life. Besides, if you haven't noticed, I am older than you, Ron, and Hermione and am far more experienced than any of you. Voldemort is not going to use me to get to you. I want to be with you, Harry. Do not try to stop me from coming; it's not going to work."

Their eyes locked for what seemed like ages before Harry turned and looked down at the village below. He sighed.

"Fine," he said, his voice soft. "I can't say that I wouldn't be happy that you're with me."

Remus let out the breath he didn't know he'd been holding and made his way to his boyfriend, wrapping his arms around him and burying his nose into the crook of Harry's neck, nuzzling the soft skin and drawing a laugh from the younger man.

"Remus, stop it," Harry said. "We're in public."

Remus laughed, causing Harry to shiver as the vibrations hit his skin. "Your point being?"

He bit into the soft skin and grinned as he felt Harry's skin grow hot against his own.

"Remus!"

With a laugh, Remus pulled away, smirking lightly. There was something about Harry's embarrassment that greatly turned him on. "Alright, alright," he said. "I won't ravish my boyfriend in public."

Harry turned around, his face still red, but beaming. "Should we return to the Burrow?"

Remus shrugged. "If you'd like. They should have had enough time to cool down by now."

Harry nodded, taking the older man's hand in his, as they started back in the direction they had come. "I'll need to let Ron and Hermione know that you're coming. Hermione will be glad."

Remus looked at him, a brow raised. "And why would that be?"

Harry grinned. "She wanted me to ask you to come in the first place."

Remus chuckled as he nodded. "Well, she's certainly right. Very smart girl, Hermione is."

"You know," Harry said, giving Remus's hand a squeeze, "Hermione was the one I told when I knew I liked guys, and the one I told when I started to like you. Both times she knew long before I told her."

Remus nodded. "I think she knew that I liked you, but she never said anything."

"Sometimes I think she can read minds, and I wonder if I should use Occlumency against her."

Remus laughed, shaking his head. "I've no doubt that she would make a very fine Legillimens."

They walked the rest of the way in silence, the light summer breeze blowing around them as they neared the Burrow.

As soon as they came in sight of the house, however, the owner of a familiar head of bushy hair ran over to them.

"I wouldn't go in there," she said. "Mrs. Weasley' shaving a row with Mr. Weasley, and Ron's not too happy with either of you."

Remus and Harry traded looks, frowning. They could hear the raised voices but were unable to hear what was being said. Remus sighed. He should have realized it couldn't be as easy as it seemed.

"And Dora?"

Hermione frowned sympathetically at him. "She Apparated back to her place. She wasn't very happy, but I suspect she should calm down after a while."

"I guess I should stay at my place tonight then," he said. "I don't want to cause more trouble than I already have."

Harry looked up at him. "I'm coming with you."

Hermione looked at him, and Remus saw a pink tinge make its way on to her cheeks. There was no doubt what was going through her mind.

"Harry, are you sure that's the best idea…" she trailed off, biting her lip.

Remus sighed. "Hermione, could you give us a moment?"

Hermione nodded and moved towards the house, out of earshot.

Remus returned Harry's gaze, his eyes intent on Harry's. "Are you absolutely sure that you want to?"

Harry nodded, a blush creeping onto his face. Now Remus was positive what Harry meant, and that knowledge made him very aroused. He cleared his throat.

"Positive?" he asked, his voice rougher than he'd meant it to be.

Harry grinned, obviously liking the effect he was having on the older man before him. Remus watched as the boy's eyes flickered to Hermione's and back before he returned his gaze to Remus's face. Green eyes locked with light brown, Harry slowly brought Remus's hand up to his mouth, pressing his lips to the pads of his fingers. "Positive."

Remus swallowed hard, hitching his robes to hide the obvious arousal within, before he called back to Hermione.

"We've come to a decision," he said. Hermione turned around and nodded.

"I'll let them know you had to leave early, and that Harry decided to give them some space."

"Thanks, Hermione," Harry said with a grin. Hermione was a very good friend to have at times like this.

"Of course," she said, already heading back. "And it's safe to assume Remus will be joining us?"

Remus knew what she meant and smiled. "Very safe."

"I'll let Ron know," she called, and entered the house.

Remus turned back to Harry.

"You remember where my house is?"

Harry nodded.

"See you in a bit," the younger man said, and Disapparated.

Remus grinned, glancing at the Burrow once more. It was likely that he wouldn't be allowed into the house ever again. He was surprised to find that this fact didn't bother him. He then realized that he had something far better waiting for him at home.

With a second grin, he Disapparated.


End file.
